Statistical Inference and Quality Measures of KV Cache Quantisations Inspired by TurboQuant

Abstract: We analyse three KV cache quantization schemes under a fair bit budget: \textbf{KV} (scalar MSE baseline), \textbf{KQV} (WHT + MSE on $K$; WHT + MSE + QJL on $V$), and \textbf{QKQV} (WHT + MSE + QJL on both). Starting from the Beta distribution on the hypersphere, we trace how QJL on $K$ inflates inner product variance by $π/2$, which softmax amplifies nonlinearly via Jensen's inequality, and we present statistical inference and information metrics to highlight practical differences. Three empirical findings emerge. (1)~At $n=4$ (the practically dominant budget), KQV wins on every measure -- KL divergence, geometric $K$ error, and 6D distance -- across all distributions and ranks tested. (2)~The K--V asymmetry is unconditional: QKQV is consistently worse than KQV in KL divergence at every budget and distribution. (3)~A budget-dependent crossover exists: QKQV achieves better geometric $K$ reconstruction at $n \in {2,3,5}$, KQV at $n \in {4,6}$, invariant to rank and tail weight -- an open rate-distortion problem. $\mathrm{KL}(p_{\mathrm{ref}} | p_{\mathrm{quant}})$, K-only by construction, bridges K direction error to routing corruption and output collapse. We present a sufficient condition when the Jensen mechanism amplifies superlinearly through the softmax. At $n \in {2,3,5}$, QKQV wins geometrically because this assumption does not bind. At $n=4$, elevated K error and KL divergence for QKQV strongly suggest the Jensen mechanism is the operative cause of the crossover, providing a new perspective and explanation.