Write song lyrics about a burned out entrepreneur
GPT-3.5
GPT-6 Astra
Open for Business
[Verse 1]
Coffee ring on a five-year plan,
Sun coming up through the blinds again.
I know every crack in the office wall,
Missed my mother’s second call.
Got a little plaque with my name engraved,
For all the jobs that I helped create.
Let the whole team go at five—
Sat in my car till half past nine.
[Pre-Chorus]
Everybody asks how fast we’re growing.
Nobody asks how long I’ve slept.
I say, “Good things on the horizon,”
Like a promise I haven’t broken yet.
[Chorus]
We’re open for business,
But I’m closing down.
Built myself a ladder
I can’t climb down.
There’s a light in the window
That I leave on all night.
They call it ambition.
I used to think they were right.
[Verse 2]
I remember the first invoice paid,
Cheap champagne and a whole weekend.
Now the numbers get another zero;
I don’t feel a thing when it clears.
My friends stopped saving me a chair,
I told them not to, to be fair.
Bought my freedom piece by piece,
Now it needs too much of me.
[Chorus]
We’re open for business,
But I’m closing down.
Built myself a ladder
I can’t climb down.
There’s a light in the window
That I leave on all night.
They call it ambition.
I used to think they were right.
[Bridge]
Maybe Monday I’ll come in late,
Let somebody else unlock the place.
Maybe nothing falls apart.
Maybe that’s the hardest part—
Learning I can leave a room
Without leaving all I am there too.
[Outro]
Turn the sign.
Take the stairs.
Call my mother.
Get some air.
There’s a light in the window—
Tonight, I’ll turn it out.
ShowHide Astra's reasoning 285 words
Creating song lyrics
I'm thinking about crafting original lyrics that have three verses, a chorus, and a bridge, focusing on the emotions tied to entrepreneurial burnout. I want to steer clear of anything hokey, keeping it genuine. I wonder if a title might evoke that feeling too. I'm considering that around 450 words sounds about right, but 250 might be sufficient too. Let’s ensure the lyrics convey the depth of this experience well.
What changed
GPT-3.5’s song tells you the singer is burned out; Astra’s shows you. The 2022 chorus leans on stock phrases like “My fire’s gone” and “Feeling lost, feeling blue,” and the bridge’s “price” and “mind” don’t rhyme at all. It’s serviceable and easy to sing, but it could describe almost any sad job. Astra builds the burnout from small, specific details: a “coffee ring on a five-year plan,” “Missed my mother’s second call,” sitting in the car “till half past nine” after sending the team home. The hook “We’re open for business, / But I’m closing down” is a genuinely good line, and the outro pays off earlier images by turning out the window light and finally calling mother.
Astra isn’t flawless. “Zero” and “clears” barely rhyme, and the chorus rhymes “down” with “down.” Still, it reads like a song with a person in it, while GPT-3.5’s reads like a template with the word “entrepreneur” filled in.