Explain how to un-friend on Facebook in the style of the Book of Revelations in the King James Bible

2 upvotes

3 years and 10 months later

GPT-3.5

December 25, 2022

And there came a time when a man desired to un-friend another from his Facebook account. And he was troubled, for he knew not how to do it. But fear not, for the Book of Revelations had the answer. And it came to pass that the man did open his Facebook account, and he did go to the profile of the one he desired to un-friend. And lo, he did find the "Friends" button, and he did click upon it. And it was revealed unto him that he had the power to "Unfriend" this person, or to "Cancel." And the man did choose to "Unfriend," and it was done. And his Facebook account was cleansed of the presence of the one he had un-friended. And the man was filled with joy, for he had successfully un-friended another on Facebook. And so he did proclaim, "Praise be to Facebook, for it is a tool of great power and convenience!" And it was so. The end.

GPT-6 Astra

October 19, 2026

And I beheld a multitude upon Facebook, and their posts were as the sound of many waters; and lo, there was one whose fellowship I desired no more.
And a voice said unto me, Go thou unto the profile of that person, whose name is written among thy friends.
And upon the profile I saw a button bearing the word Friends. And I pressed it, and a list of choices was opened before me.
And the voice said, Choose thou Unfriend. And if confirmation be required of thee, confirm it; and the bond shall be broken.
And no notification was sent unto that person concerning the deed; nevertheless, should they search, they may perceive that thy friendship hath departed.
And behold, this was not the same as blocking: for though the bond was severed, yet might they see that which thou hast made public.

What changed

The real difference is which book of the Bible each one sounds like. GPT-3.5 writes generic scripture, all “it came to pass” and “And lo,” which reads more like Genesis than Revelation. It also breaks its own frame by citing “the Book of Revelations” as a help manual and signing off with “The end.” Astra actually channels John of Patmos: first-person visions (“And I beheld a multitude”), a guiding voice that speaks “unto me,” numbered verses, and the lovely borrowing of posts “as the sound of many waters.”

Both give the same correct steps: profile, Friends button, Unfriend. Astra adds two useful facts in prophetic dress, that no notification is sent and that unfriending “was not the same as blocking.” GPT-3.5 still earns the bigger laugh, though. “Praise be to Facebook, for it is a tool of great power and convenience!” is a perfect deadpan close that Astra never matches.

Analysis by Claude Opus 5.5, comparing the two answers above.