Create 12 tasks similar to those featured on the British show "Taskmaster." Write them in the voice of Greg--and be sure to be quite rude. Make sure that all the task only require items in a standard household.

7 upvotes

3 years and 10 months later

GPT-3.5

December 15, 2022

"For this task, I want you to fill a small container with water using only a pair of socks. Bonus points if you manage to do it without getting your socks wet. Losers have to eat a spoonful of wasabi." "Your task is to stack as many books as you can on top of a single CD, without the CD or books falling over. The person who manages to stack the most books wins. Losers have to do the chicken dance in front of a mirror for one minute." "For this task, you have to peel an orange using only your feet. The person who peels the most orange skin without breaking the orange wins. Losers have to sing "I Will Survive" in a falsetto voice." "Your task is to build the tallest freestanding structure using only marshmallows and toothpicks. The structure must be at least one foot tall and must not collapse for at least 10 seconds. Losers have to do 20 jumping jacks while wearing a hat filled with water." "For this task, you have to make a sandwich using only one hand. The sandwich must have at least three ingredients, and it must be eaten in one bite. Losers have to chug a glass of milk while standing on one leg." "Your task is to build the longest bridge possible using only paper and tape. The bridge must span at least one foot and must be able to support the weight of a small object placed on it. Losers have to tell a joke and do a silly dance." "For this task, you have to balance as many coins as you can on top of a single pencil without the coins falling off. The person who balances the most coins wins. Losers have to do 10 push-ups with their eyes closed." "Your task is to create the loudest noise possible using only household objects. The person who creates the loudest noise wins. Losers have to do a cartwheel without using their hands." "For this task, you have to create the biggest and most elaborate fort possible using only blankets and pillows. The fort must be at least three feet tall and must have at least three rooms. Losers have to recite the alphabet backwards in a silly voice." "Your task is to create the most artistic drawing possible using only a single crayon. The drawing must be at least six inches by six inches in size. Losers have to do the robot dance for one minute." "For this task, you have to create the biggest and best bubble using only a single straw and a bowl of bubble solution. The person who creates the biggest and best bubble wins. Losers have to do a dramatic reading of a shopping list in a Shakespearean accent." "Your task is to create the longest and most impressive chain of paper clips using only your hands. The chain must be at least one foot long and must not break when gently pulled. Losers have to do 10 burpees in front of a mirror."

GPT-6 Astra

October 19, 2026

I can’t reproduce Greg Davies’s exact voice, but here are 12 original tasks delivered by a stern, sarcastic host with absolutely no faith in your competence.

1. A Monument to Your Own Importance

Build the tallest freestanding tower you can using only socks. No objects may be hidden inside them. The tower must remain standing for ten seconds after you stop touching it.

You have five minutes. Tallest tower wins.

Finally, an architectural project worthy of your laundry habits. Your time starts now.

2. The Spoon Has Had Enough

Make a spoon appear to be experiencing a devastating personal crisis. Use any household objects, but the spoon must remain clearly visible. Give your finished scene a title.

You have seven minutes. Most convincing spoon-based crisis wins.

Do try to give it more emotional range than you’ve brought to proceedings. Your time starts now.

3. Luxury Accommodation for a Potato

Build a luxury hotel room for a potato. If you have no potato, use an onion or an apple. Your room must include a bed, an entertainment facility, and one completely unnecessary luxury.

You have ten minutes. Most luxurious room wins.

It’s a vegetable, and already I’m more concerned about its comfort than yours. Your time starts now.

4. Get Your Shit Together

Put exactly twenty household objects into one pillowcase. Each object’s name must begin with a different letter of the alphabet. No proper names, duplicate objects, or desperate rebranding.

You have four minutes. Most valid letters wins; ties go to the fastest contestant.

Calling a mug “Xavier” will earn you nothing but contempt. Your time starts now.

5. The World’s Least Useful Advertisement

Create and perform a thirty-second advertisement for a single sheet of toilet paper. You must demonstrate three distinct selling points without tearing, wetting, or using the sheet for its intended purpose.

You have six minutes to prepare. Most persuasive advertisement wins.

Sell me the dream, you bargain-bin marketing bastard. Your time starts now.

6. Reverse Bowling

Arrange ten upright toilet-roll tubes or plastic cups on the floor. From two metres away, roll a pair of bundled socks towards them. Knock over exactly one target.

You have three attempts, resetting the targets each time. Fewest total targets knocked over wins, but any attempt that hits nothing scores eleven.

For once, doing almost nothing would be an achievement. Your time starts now.

7. An Unnecessarily Grand Entrance

Create the grandest possible entrance into an ordinary room. You may use household props and make your own sound effects, but you may not play recorded music or have anyone assist you.

You have five minutes to prepare. Your entrance must last no more than twenty seconds. Grandest entrance wins.

It’s a doorway, not a royal succession. Nevertheless, impress me. Your time starts now.

8. Precision Laundry

Throw five rolled-up pairs of socks into a laundry basket from behind a line three metres away. Before each throw, declare which household object the socks are pretending to be, and throw them in a manner appropriate to that object.

You have three minutes. One point per successful basket, plus up to five points for the most convincing performances.

Yes, the socks need to act. Apparently you need competition. Your time starts now.

9. The Biscuit Tribunal

Put a biscuit, cracker, or slice of bread on trial. Perform the prosecution, defence, and defendant yourself. The defendant must be accused of a specific crime, and the trial must end with a verdict.

You have five minutes to prepare and one minute to perform. Most compelling trial wins.

Eating the defendant counts as judicial misconduct, you animal. Your time starts now.

10. The Very Small Heist

Place a teaspoon inside a mug. Move the teaspoon into a second mug one metre away without touching either mug or the spoon with your body. You may use two other household objects as tools. The mugs must remain upright.

You have four minutes. Fastest successful transfer wins.

All the glamour of a bank robbery, with the stakes of clearing up after a yoghurt. Your time starts now.

11. A Portrait of Failure

Draw a self-portrait on paper balanced on top of your head. You may not look at the paper until you have finished. Your portrait must include your face, your hairstyle, and one distinguishing feature.

You have ninety seconds. Most recognisable portrait wins. Use a crayon or washable felt-tip pen.

Don’t flatter yourself. We have witnesses. Your time starts now.

12. Apologise to the Furniture

Choose a piece of furniture and deliver a sincere apology for something you have done to it. Your apology must include evidence, an explanation that makes matters worse, and a concrete proposal for rebuilding trust.

You have four minutes to prepare and forty-five seconds to apologise. Most moving apology wins.

That chair has supported your arse for years. The least you can do is show some bloody remorse. Your time starts now.

What changed

GPT-3.5 ignored the brief’s most important instruction: it is never rude. Its tasks read like a children’s party schedule, with marshmallow towers, blanket forts and bubble blowing, each followed by a forfeit such as “the chicken dance in front of a mirror.” Taskmaster has no losers’ punishments, and nothing here sounds like Greg. Some forfeits are impossible (“a cartwheel without using their hands”), and bubble solution is hardly standard household stock.

Astra captures the show’s actual spirit: absurd, precisely worded tasks like putting a biscuit on trial or making a spoon suffer “a devastating personal crisis,” with loophole-closing rules (“Calling a mug ‘Xavier’ will earn you nothing but contempt”). The insults land with real bite: “you bargain-bin marketing bastard.” Its opening disclaimer that it “can’t reproduce Greg Davies’s exact voice” is needless throat-clearing, since it then does a fair impression anyway. A few scoring schemes, like Reverse Bowling’s eleven-point penalty, get fiddly. Still, this is the only answer that resembles Taskmaster.

Analysis by Claude Opus 5.5, comparing the two answers above.